Perks of living in a small town

Ok, so first off, this I totally stole from Benjamin.

These are some of the stories in the local police blotters. It makes me laugh.

6/15/07 [Aberdeen, MD]: A woman in the 700 block of Everist Drive told police Sunday there was malicious destruction to her vehicle because someone threw something on it overnight, but when the police responded they determined it was bird droppings.
--> Maybe you should clarify "someone" and "something" next time before you call police...

6/15/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A city police officer in the 400 block of Strawberry Lane reported Tuesday hearing a loud explosion after a squirrel tripped a transformer. People came out of their houses to determine the source of the sound and the officer found the burnt squirrel, which was still smoking.
--> PETA will surely find something to complain about in reaction to this story, but people should know by now to stay indoors when they hear an explosion!

6/22/07 [Bel Air, MD]: An employee in the 300 block of South Main Street told police Sunday someone was possibly sleepwalking in Wawa. The person woke up before police arrived.
--> #1- Random. #2- Why was that newsworthy?

6/22/07 [Aberdeen, MD]: A woman in the 400 block of Chestnut Street told police Saturday a man threw a burger and three dogs and now the neighbors were arguing over it around 11:14 p.m.
--> Seriously now, if you're going to throw something at a neighbor find something better than a burger and "three dogs."

6/29/07 [Aberdeen, MD]: A woman in the 500 block of Baltimore Court told police Sunday someone stole her rings from under her bed. She later found the rings under the bed.
--> My prediction is that next week's police blotter will include reports of a burglar in the 500 block of Baltimore Court who turned up bed mattresses and stole a collection of rings.

7/13/07 [Aberdeen, MD]: A Maryland Transit Administration dispatcher told police Tuesday assistance would be needed getting a sleeping passenger off the bus.
--> Did the "sleeping passenger" put up a fight when they initially tried to remove him?

7/13/07 [Aberdeen, MD]: An Emergency Operations Center dispatcher told police Tuesday an 8-year old girl on Inca Street called 911 to report her brother was making fun of her.
--> Next time report that to mom and dad before calling the police!

8/3/07 [Aberdeen, MD]: A man in the first block of Baker Street told police Sunday his handgun was stolen while he was shopping.
--> Shopping...suuure. I mean, everyone carries their handgun with them when they go shopping, right? Ironic that the man who plans on robbing the store gets robbed himself first.

8/3/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller in the 400 block of Webb Street told police Sunday there was a problem with some water pipes. Police called public works.
--> Police station's new automated voice message: "Sorry, wrong number."

8/24/07 [Aberdeen, MD]: A caller in the first block of East Bel Air Avenue told police Monday four men were walking along the street."
--> Yes, so... what's your point?

8/24/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller at the 7-Eleven in the 900 block of Ontario Street told police last Friday that about 10 gallons of gas spilled.
--> Do the police look like a hazmat team? Do the police run the gas station?

8/24/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A man in the 200 block of Pennington Avenue told police Thursday his son was locked in handcuffs and they couldn't find the key.
--> Um, I wouldn't know anyone who has done that before...

9/7/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller in the 600 block of Water Street told police Sunday a vacant lot across from Price's Seafood was being used for a party where people were exposing themselves.
9/7/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller in the 900 block of Pulaski Highway told police Sunday a woman was lying on the ground screaming.
9/7/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller in the 800 block Otsego Street told police Sunday a woman was lying on the ground screaming and exposing her breasts.
--> Okay, so three incidents of the same nature in one day. Either this is a sign of the apocalypse or it confirms that the school year just started up again.

9/7/07 [Aberdeen, MD]: A woman in the 100 block of South Parke Street told police Saturday a man advised her he needed to go to the hospital because the crack he smoked the night before had been poisoned.
--> Dude, did it ever occur to you that maybe it was the crack that made you ill?

9/7/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller reported Thursday mulch in front of city hall was on fire. The local fire department was notified.
--> You would have to live in Havre de Grace to catch the irony behind this report...read on to see what happened at city hall the following week.

9/14/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: Police reported the city restrooms on Congress Avenue had been vandalized last Friday; someone took soap dispensers off the walls.
-->Here's the humor behind these two reports: the police station is next door to where this happened and within eyeshot of everything! Perhaps a little oblivious?

9/14/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller in the cross street of Pennington Avenue and Freedom Avenue told police last Friday a pair of tennis shoes were hanging from utility wires.
--> Is this kinda like calling the fire department to rescue the kitten that got stuck up in a tree?