So today, guess what we had at church? A polka party! Haha, just kidding, we had a brunch (bet you would have never guessed that one). I had every intention of not going...big surprise, lol. I like my routines. I eat breakfast before church, and I have the same thing every day (almost). So going to church and
1) being expected to eat
2) not knowing what there would be to eat and
3) feeling like certain people who know about my ED would be watching me to see how I am 'really' doing (if you are reading this Elise, I'm not talking about you)
Well, that kinda made me really nervous. But with a little encouragement from Neil, I decided to go. Plus, I thought it might be even more conspicuous if I didn't go.
Anyways, I did well. So that did feel nice.
Soooooo, now to food in general. Heh.
I've already got the "What the hell are you doing?!" from my therapist on Thursday. And I am (not) looking forward to getting chewed out by my nutritionist today for my food records.
Lack of structure = Lots of Megan sleeping = Lots of not eating.
So the new equation should be to add an alarm to the mix and hope for the best.
Perhaps I was sleeping a lot because I moved myself out all by myself. I guess this doesn't sound too unusual, but it really speaks volumes considering I wasn't even able to push my cart two years ago moving out.
Anyways, we've already established that I feel like crap when I don't eat. And it gets me nowhere. So I have done better over the weekend and such. And I'm supposed to start doing back-to-scale. Part of the doing not-so-well definitely had something to do with the 'high' of seeing the number drop.
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2 comments:
Thanks for clarifying that it wasn't me you were talking about - I would have thought it was! But just so you know... I really wasn't paying attention to how much you ate or if you ate at all. I did notice that you cut your eggs up in to little tiny pieces but only because Peyton asked what you were eating. I think she thought she was missing out on something! OK, I did notice that you at all your eggs but again only because something drew my attention to your plate. Maybe it was when I went to pick it up to throw it away? i don't know...I'm just glad Neil convinced you to come! Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.
i'm glad you're seeing the nut, and i hope she kicks your butt in a friendly, supportive i-want-to-help-you-beat-this-thing kind of way!
i know the end of the semester drain can make it easy to slip back into not eating without really thinking about it, but now that you have your therapist yelling at you, i hope you're able to turn things around. i want you to enjoy this summer and have another great semester in the fall.
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