The Bridge

So, the youth group at my church is called 'The Bridge'. I have been for the past month or so been talking to the youth workers about talking about my eating disorder to them; I am a classic case of how successful one can be without God, and how without Him, I can't live, I can't breathe. I tried, but it just doesn't work and I am left broken, cold and alone.

I really think this is a great opportunity to play a positive role in other people's lives. And this is something I know can impact others, and if I could just help one person; it would be worth it.

I mean the more I think about it...I hate, hate, HATE the ED, it almost killed me, it is something I'm stuck with for life. But the thing is I don't think I would change things if I could. And this has nothing to do with any eating disordered reasons. I think the quote "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," explains it well.

James 1:12 - "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

I mean I know now that I have such a testimony I can share. I know part of the reason I fell away from God was because I thought I couldn't go near Him because I was so caught up in my self-destructive behaviors so therefore I wasn't a 'good enough' Christian. But that's when I needed Him the most. Ironic, isn't it? I have finally begun to learn that there isn't any sin He doesn't understand; I know that He is my strength and my salvation.

And actually the term 'good' Christian is actually a total oxymoron, not even one of us are good in the eyes of God, we are all stained my sin. The only thing that can make us good and pure in the eyes of the Father is the blood of Christ. And that is some powerful stuff. There isn't anything it can't cover. I mean, how egocentric would it sound for me to say; "Well God, you can forgive everyone else's problems but not me, my sin is worse than anyone else's." Um yeah right, thats a total load of crap. It took me so long to learn that I can't out-sin God. Geez, if I could, I'm sure I would be going to hell with everything I have done.

Anyways I am really excited, I was talking to one of the other youth workers about speaking and she said that they were actually looking for younger women to work with the youth regularly. She had said there are more male than female youth workers and the female ones were not old, but they were moms, so the teens feel like they can't relate as much as they could with someone my age. This is such an awesome opportunity!! I would get to build relationships with them and go on retreats; ahh it would just be so cool. I am just praying that this is God's will, it resonates so closely to my heart. So if anybody actually reads this thing, prayer would be much much appreciated =] (if you do pray).

So yay! :-D