Geez...

I am so predictable. I usually see my T twice a week; but because of July 4th and also she was out on Monday, I had like a week and a half break between appointments. And I didn't see my nutritionist for about 2 weeks. So being the typical anorectic, I thought "Hey, lets see if I can lose weight; I've got time and I won't get in trouble till next Thursday." I didn't do awful, but I didn't do too well either =\. I know part of that was stress related; but I could have made a much better effort to do what I needed to do.

I used my new job as an excuse to restrict, but I already realize that is such a stupid thing to do; if I am not eating properly, I won't be a good employee. I really need to be focused to do my job properly. And I need to get certification as a pharmacy tech. And also my physics class has been harder to follow than usual. Thats saying something, I usually am confused all the time w/this class, but everything went in one ear and out the other, my brain just couldn't focus at all.

Augh this is just frustrating, I just want to lose a FEW pounds; get to this one number. But I think anyone that knows me even a little bit knows that wouldn't happen.

But the thing is when I showed my N my food records and saw the look of disappointment on her face, it made me sad. Especially since she does get really excited when my food records look good or I challenge myself.

So I do have a lot of good things to motivate me. It's just turning things around; which I have already begun to do. One of my favorite analogies to recovery is a road trip. Lots of hills and valleys and if you are like me, lots of getting lost and going in circles. And also if you are going from maryland to california but your car breaks down in ohio, you don't have to go back to maryland. You get your car fixed and you keep going.

My 'car' might have stalled, but that is just a minor setback, as long as I put my 'car' in drive and not reverse, it will all be good. Lol.