Crazy

Things have been crazy. To say the least.

So, I failed my physics class. D+. I don't get D pluses and I don't fail classes. Found out right before I went on vacation. So it pretty much sucks. But I didn't understand the information at all; so I know it wouldn't have been fair for me to pass. But still. Had to drop Physical Chemistry b/c of that. That was the reason I took the classes over the summer; my advisor wanted me to take it this semester.

But on the bright side, I found an open class to replace it, Chemical Toxicology! Which in my opinion, is a zillion times more interesting than PChem. I'm just so happy there was actually an open class, so I didn't have to go to a bunch of other classes trying to add.

And recently got yelled at at work. Well not really, I guess, but I'm just super good at screwing things up. And overreacting. So I'm still getting really mad at myself when I make any mistake; I'm so scared they are going to wish they never hired me and I'll get fired. Probably not true, but still.

Then I've been getting ready for the PTCB, my certification test. There is so much to memorize and I've been wondering how on earth I am going to learn all this. There are so many drugs I can't even pronounce, so how am I going to remember their brand name and the class it's in and the side effects? Or remember the difference between lorazepam and diazepam and alprazolam and clonazepam and prolly some other -epams I can't think of right now. Which one was Klonopin again? Oy. They have a whole class devoted to learning all this stuff, but I've just got the books. I guess I'll get it eventually.

Also, just got back from OC MD. All in all, it was a good vacation. Except me + bathing suit = one stressed out/self concious Megan. Eh, oh well. Oh and also the fact I don't know how to relax. I am so used to doing a bajillion things a day, I like staying busy. So I was going stir crazy part of the time. But like I said, it was nice spending time with my crazy family.

Finally, the sh*tty end to a really really sh*tty week, as my therapist said. One of my best friend's brother died. He just turned 24. Its such a shock, we were with him the night he died, just a few hours before. So please pray for her and her family, they need it. Seeing all this grief and not being able to do a damn thing about it sucks. And the fact is, it shouldn't have happened at all. So idk, I am kind of pissed off at God right now, it's not fair. But I mean, there is a grander plan, I know; I just can't really get myself to spend quiet time with Him, it's just so confusing.

So yeah, all this pretty makes me thing that everything else that has been going on and bothering me is just so insignificant really.