Dancing

So, I suppose it is time for another serious post. I'll probably try and find something funny to put up too. I think that in itself is a defense mechanism. Minimize the hurt with humor. Plus I have a thing where I cannot let a personal post be the top one...I feel the need to protect people in a sense by having a more recent post give the message, "See, everything is great! No need to worry about me or care about my problems; they don't matter."

Eh. Whatever. If you have read my blog before, you know I am crazy anyways ;-)

So, back to the title of the blog. If you have friended me on Facebook, you may have noticed one of my more recent statuses was "Megan has decided that ballet is her crack cocaine." :P Just don't tell IOP, they think bowling is exercise, lol.

Well, I guess a lot of people might be thinking, "Oh, ballet probably was one of the reasons she became anorexic."

Nope. Ballet had little or no cause in my developing an ED.

Do I sometimes do barre exercises just to burn calories? Yes.

Do I feel uncomfortable seeing myself in those huge mirrors? Yes.

But is that why I feel so happy just putting on my pointe shoes? No. When I am dancing (meaning not doing barre exercises/warm-ups), I actually feel good in my body. The same is true for swing dancing. Like I said, I do know that I burn calories doing that and that is something I like, but once again, that is one of the only times where my body feels like it has a purpose, it isn't something to look at and try and change.

And I am sure many of you have discerned that just being in my body has been especially hard lately for me.

So my therapist recommended that I try and do some body work. We just aren't telling my doctor lol. Don't get me wrong, I respect my doctor, and I know she has my best interests at heart, but my therapist really knows me better than anyone else, we have been working together for 2 years.

So anyways, I am going swing dancing with my sweetie tonight. Yay for dance. =)