More HdG police blotters

So once again, I stole these from Benjamin.


9/7/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller in the 600 block of Water Street told police Sunday a vacant lot across from Price's Seafood was being used for a party where people were exposing themselves.
9/7/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller in the 900 block of Pulaski Highway told police Sunday a woman was lying on the ground screaming.
9/7/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller in the 800 block Otsego Street told police Sunday a woman was lying on the ground screaming and exposing her breasts.
--> Okay, so three incidents of the same nature in one day. Either this is a sign of the apocalypse or it confirms that the school year just started up again.

9/7/07 [Aberdeen, MD]: A woman in the 100 block of South Parke Street told police Saturday a man advised her he needed to go to the hospital because the crack he smoked the night before had been poisoned.
--> Dude, did it ever occur to you that maybe it was the crack that made you ill?

9/7/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller reported Thursday mulch in front of city hall was on fire. The local fire department was notified.
--> You would have to live in Havre de Grace to catch the irony behind this report...read on to see what happened at city hall the following week.

9/14/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: Police reported the city restrooms on Congress Avenue had been vandalized last Friday; someone took soap dispensers off the walls.
-->Here's the humor behind these two reports: the police station is next door to where this happened and within eyeshot of everything! Perhaps a little oblivious?

9/14/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller in the cross street of Pennington Avenue and Freedom Avenue told police last Friday a pair of tennis shoes were hanging from utility wires.
--> Is this kinda like calling the fire department to rescue the kitten that got stuck up in a tree?

10/5/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A man in the 300 block of St. John Street told police last Friday his neighbor was sending electronic microwaves through his apartment causing him pain.
--> I think he might need some Risperdal or Clozapine...that or he sure has a good imagination

12/21/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller told police last Friday a couple, ages 16 and 17, was having sex on the property of St. Patrick Church. They were found and told to leave.
--> I expect a couple, ages 16 and 17, was asked to please return to the Catholic church on Saturday, but not to have sex.

12/21/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A woman told police around 8 p.m. Wednesday a child had his head on the table at MacGregor's and she wanted the police to tell the child's mother to take him home or he was going to be exhausted at school tomorrow. The woman was suspected of being drunk, according to the police report.