Insomnia sucks...but God doesnt =]

So um yeah its like 4 am. And I've been up since 2:30. Really glad that I have today off, haha. Anyways, my mind has just been racing with thoughts and stuff...I had written a few questions in my personal journal.

-How do I just abandon my sorrow and shame for things that happened the past semester (...and possibly the whole year)?
-How do I just say 'I'm sorry' [to God, everyone] and then just MOVE ON with more confidence than before and not let myself get stuck feeling bad?
-How can I remember to always give this stuff up to God and just remember that these things too shall pass?
-How do I rekindle relationships I let fade without constantly worrying that I am 'not good enough' to deserve such friends and confidantes because I feel I have failed so miserably and have fallen in my faith these past months?
-How do I turn the regret I feel into joy that God is always good and eternally loving and will always take me back, no matter what?
-And I guess most importantly, how can I use myself better than before to show how wonderful He is to everyone around me. How do I make the flame brighter and stronger than before?

I still don't quite know the answers to my questions, but anyways while I was writing, I put my Ipod on and I have a mix of my favorite like 100 songs out of the 950some songs that are on it. I had it on random, and well I had 4 of the most reassuring songs come on one after another. Thanks God ^_^


"Never Alone" - BarlowGirl

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?

[Chorus:]
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I"m never alone

And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life

We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

[Chorus]

We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

[Chorus]


"Mirror" - BarlowGirl

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me

Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me

You don't define me, you don't define me

"On Fire" Switchfoot
Tell you where you need to go
Tell you who you need to be
Tell you what you need to know
Tell you when you’ll need to leave

But everything inside you knows
Says more than what you’ve heard
So much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words

Chorus:

And you’re on fire
When he’s near you
You’re on fire
When he speaks
You’re on fire
Burning at these mysteries

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything you are
Give me one more chance to be... (near you)

Cause everything inside looks like
Everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I’ll take

Chorus:
When I’m on fire
When you’re near me
I’m on fire
When you speak
And I’m on fire
Burning at these mysteries
These mysteries...

I’m standing on the edge of me (x3)
I’m standing on the edge

Chorus:

And I’m on fire
When you’re near you
I’m on fire
When you speak
(yea) I’m on fire
Burning at these mysteries...


So yeah, I am probably going to crash and fall asleep somewhere around 10 am this morning. Until then...I think I am going to go watch a movie my sister rented: March of the Penguins. Yay. I LOVE penguins, they are SOOOOOOOOOOO cute!!