Cloudy with a chance of meatballs

"High of 75" - Relient K
We were talking together
I said "What's up with this weather?"
Dont know whether or not
How sad I just got
Was on my own volition
Or if I'm just missin the sun

And tomorrow, I know,
Will be rainy at best.
And the forecast, I know,
Is that I'll be depressed.

But I'll wait outside
Hoping that I'll catch sight of the sun.

chorus-

Because on and off,
The clouds have fought
For control over the sky

And lately the weather
Has been so bi-polar
And Consequently so have I

And now I'm sunny with a High
of 75
Since You took my heavy heart
And made it light

And it's funny how you find
You enjoy your life
When you're happy to be alive

-chorus

And the temprature is freezing
And then, after dark,
There is a cold front sweeping
In over my heart

And we might break up
If I dont wake up to the sun

chorus

Sunny with a High of 75
Since You took my heavy heart
And made it light (made it light)

And its funny how you find
You enjoy your life
When you're happy to be...
Alive

You + Me

"You and Me" - Lifehouse
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

He is strong

No rhyme or reason for posting this; this is just a song I have always loved and was listening to this morning. Wish I could play this one on the guitar!

"For The Moments I Feel Faint" - Relient K
Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?

[Chorus:]
Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you your wrong.


Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong



I throw up my hands
"Oh, the impossibilities"
Frustrated and tired
Where do I go from here?
Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear

[Chorus]

I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
Gather my insufficiencies and
place them in your hands, place them in your hands, place them
in your hands

Love Your Tree

Eve Ensler, the writer of The Vagina Monologues came to our campus last Sunday. I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to go and listen to her talk on her play, "The Good Body". She's a really liberal feminist, and I'm...not. Plus I've heard everything there is to know about body image, right? Some of the stuff she said was really blunt and I didn't really agree with it, but I am SO glad that I went. She is an amazing speaker.

For me, the most poignant moment was when she said to us, "Be bold and LOVE YOUR BODY. STOP TRYING TO FIX IT. It was never broken."

"The Good Body" was inspired by the negative feelings she'd had about her stomach. Eve Ensler felt that she overcame a lot of struggles in her life (trauma, sexual abuse, etc) and then her thoughts centered around her stomach and how much she realized she hated it because it was this "ugly" thing that held a lot of bad secrets of her past and defined who she was now.

She went through this whole process to try to understand herself and why was it that she felt so much hatred towards this one body part. And she brought up her experiences as a playwright who interviewed thousands of women all over the world about how each woman feels she hates at least one body part. This one woman came up to her and said "I don't hate my body. I love all my body parts. ...I just hate my face!" Everyone laughed. I thought that was a really good lesson about understanding the reality we live in.

She was very articulate and eloquent in her writing, but also in how she described her experiences, traveling the world and meeting women in places as remote as Afganistahn, etc, who ALL have body image issues to some degree.

Her last story was definitely amazing. She had asked a 74 year old African woman if she liked her body and she said, "Do I like my body? My body? I love my body. God gave me this body." Then she went on to a metaphor and said "Look at that tree. Now look at that one. Do you like that tree? Do you hate that tree 'cause it doesn't look like that tree? You're a tree. I'm a tree...You've got to love your body. Love your tree."

Plus, on a totally different note, probably the whole reason I went in the first place instead of somewhere else I had wanted to go that day (a corn maze with APO) was I had wanted to see some people I hadn't seen in awhile. And I had promised one friend that I'd go with her so she wouldn't be along. And I did see a lot of people. I saw someone I haven't seen in a year, it was awesome!

The only thing I didn't really like about Eve's talk was during the Q&A session when she mentioned specific foods she didn't eat because they didn't make her body feel good (i.e. she cut all sugar/carbs/meat out of her diet).

Well...nevermind, I actually think that was the best part because Dr. Crawford's jaw dropped, he looked like he was thinking, "Shut. Up. RIGHT. NOW." It was sooooo great. I'm still cracking up thinking about his expression.

Maybe lots of people wouldn't see why that comment would be a problem. Marya Hornbacher says that people give us too much credit for having our heads screwed on straight. She is SO right. A lot of the people there I knew from when I was inpatient, and I know they were thinking the same thing I was when they heard those comments, which is something to the effect of, "I should do that too. No more sugar, no more pizza, no more meat. That would be great. It really doesn't make my body feel good, and Eve said we should give our bodies what feels good. Lettuce feels good." The difference is that I may think it, but I know enough not to try it (again).

But I probably only found this so funny because Dr. Crawford scares me half to death. Which is prolly cuz, what he says goes. In the ED world...he is pretty much God. If he says, ok you have to withdraw from school, thats what you have to do or the university will kick you out. And even if you're not in school, he can still sic the fuzz on you if he thinks you aren't 'stable' and you don't want to cooperate.

I personally have only met with him like twice, but both times I was shaking so bad. He didn't threaten me, but knowing that all the other doctors get orders from him made me nervous.

But what I REALLY wanted to do and didn't get the chance to was...well ok, so there's this doctor I can't STAND, Dr. C. (his last name is a pain in the butt to pronounce/spell). It's pretty much common knowledge we don't get along; and to this day I still have bad dreams about him. Pretty sad, huh?

I really wanted to go up to him and be like, "Hey, Dr. C. So I've decided I'm cutting all sugar out of my diet. Whatdja think?" just to piss him off. Cuz as many of you know, he has pissed me (and many others) off plenty of times.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure he's a nice guy (in fact I can think of a good example that does prove that he isn't totally heartless...i think), and he's probably a good doctor, but I'm stubborn, he's stubborn, but there really wasn't anything I was able to do short of jumping over the desk and attacking him. Lol. Thats actually a funny thought.

Sorry. I am messed up. Hehehe.

But anyways, he left too quick. Oh well. I'm a chicken and probably wouldn't have done it.

=D

Um yeah I don't really have anything new to say, so I don't know why I am writing a blog.

God is amazing. I am just in awe of everything He's done in my life just within the past couple months...and the past couple weeks. Right now I am just about the happiest person ever. The End.

Coffee addiction?

Ok, so on Friday mornings, after my work shift and before my class, I go to the little Starbucks they just put in the library. I just found it kind of humorous that as soon as I walked to the counter this morning, the barista said 'ok, start steaming up some non-fat milk'...grande...right? Maybe the only reason she remembers is because what I get (grande skim cafe misto 80% coffee), is not on that menu so the first time I asked she was like what's that? Maybe it's because I come every single week. And order the same exact thing.

I mean they have all the other things there, all the frappichinos and stuff, but I guess what I order isn't so popular because it's boring, just coffee and steamed milk. But I mean, I really don't want to order a drink that is $4 and is worse for me than a big mac.

You Know You're Addicted to Coffee When...

You can jump start your car without cables. You answer the door before people knock. You get a speeding ticket even when you are parked. You've worn out your third pair of shoes this week. Your eyes stay open even when you sneeze. You grind coffee beans in your mouth. You can type sixty words per minute -- with your feet. You soak your dentures in coffee overnight. You sleep with your eyes open. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. Instant coffee takes too long to make. You channel surf faster without the remote. You don't sweat... you percolate. You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers. You short out motion detectors. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in. The only time you are standing still is during an earthquake! You've worn the finish off your coffee table. All your kids are named Joe. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. People get dizzy just watching you. Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house. The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse. The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you. When someone asks 'How are you?' you say, 'Good to the last drop'. You buy milk by the barrel. You can outlast the Energizer bunny. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer. You can't even remember your second cup. You chew on other people's fingernails. You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore. You don't get mad, you get steamed. You don't need a hammer to pound in nails. You don't tan, you roast. You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee. You have to watch videos in fast-forward. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse. You help your dog chase its tail. You introduce your spouse as your coffee mate. You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit. You lick your coffeepot clean. You name your cats Cream and Sugar. You ski uphill. You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson. You speed-walk in your sleep. You spend every vacation visiting Maxwell House. You think being called a drip is a compliment. You think CPR stands for Coffee Provides Resuscitation. You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison. Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup. Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London. Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale. You have a picture of your coffee cup on your coffee cup. Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet & Low. Your taste buds are so numb; you could drink your lava lamp. Your Thermos is on wheels. You're so wired, you pick up AM radio. You've worn out the handle on your favourite mug. You take your morning coffee with you in the shower. Your heart beats noticeably faster as a reaction to the smell of coffee.

Distorted

I saw this and...um, yeah. Watch it for yourself. It's something to keep in mind.

Art In Me

Yeah, I ran out of random titles...for now.

And, yep. Jars of Clay is officially the best band ever in my book. But you knew that, right? It's just something about their songs, they really speak volumes to me. And the melodies are awesome. This ones an old one, but I've been listening to it a lot lately.

But the sad thing is my Ipod battery is dead. =( So no more Ipod till I can get a new battery. This bites.

"Art In Me" - Jars of Clay
Images on the sidewalk speak of dream's decent
Washed away by storms to graves of cynical lament
Dirty canvases to call my own
Protest limericks carved by the old pay phone

In your picture book I'm trying hard to see
Turning endless pages of this tragedy
Sculpting every move you compose a symphony
You plead to everyone, "See the art in me"

Broken stained-glass windows, the fragments ramble on
Tales of broken souls, an eternity's been won
As critics scorn the thoughts and works of mortal man
My eyes are drawn to you in awe once again

In your picture book I'm trying hard to see
Turning endless pages of this tragedy
Sculpting every move you compose a symphony
You plead to everyone, "See the art in me"

I don't know exactly what they were meaning from this song, but this is what I got from it. My life is like a sheet of music. Many times the notes seem sharp, flat, too low, too high, too short, too long...just...wrong. It seems like the song is going to turn out just a cacophony and be a disaster. But God takes these seemingly out of place notes and creates a more beautiful symphony that I could EVER imagine out of it. The song is so much MORE beautiful because of those notes that seem wrong, harsh, bad. I get frustrated with God for letting these wrong notes come into my life, because how could they ever work?

Like I said, I don't know if this was anything like what they were trying to say. But thats what I got from it.

I just keep going back in my mind to last February, and that was my the worst time in my worst year. I thought I was going to die. I didn't see how lost I really was. I was sure that my life had been a waste and nothing was right. But now I look at it, because of that time, my life just seems so much more beautiful and meaningful.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Most gladly therefore I will rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest on me."

It also says that we won't be given more than we can handle. I really thought I could not handle things last year, but God got me through it, and it just makes his glory even greater and more magnificent to me because he could pull me from my lowest low to where I am now.

As Steven Curtis Chapman would say:

This is my declaration of dependence
This is my declaration of my need
This is my declaration of dependence
On the one who gave His life to me

sdnah ruoy no emit hcum oot evah uoy neht ,tcejbus siht daer nac uoy fI

So one thing about my mom. She is a compulsive neat freak. Saturdays since as long as I can remember have been cleaning day where we (meaning she because we apparently don't do anything right and then she asks why we don't do anything) clean the house from top to bottom. Well I guess this isn't compulsive, it's not like she is always cleaning. But I guess for a college student, once a week to clean everything seems like too much. Or at least to some of the girls I live with. Um yeah. Thats another story I am NOT getting in to.

I'm not really a messy person. For the most part. Though maybe not according to my mom. There have been plenty of times in the past where I was wondering if all my stuff was going to end up on the front lawn.

But when you take me and add 17 credits, part time work, APO stuff, and appts 2-3 days a week at SP and stir well...well it's not too pretty. I was seriously about to have a panic attack because of the sorry state my room was in, but every time I wanted to clean it, I was too tired, buzy, lazy, whatever.

So I got out of lab at 2:30, two hours early, so I did what any normal college student wanting to clean would do. I took everything from all my drawers and closet and shelf and threw them in a pile in the middle of my floor and blasted the music and re-arranged/organized everything. So my books may not be in alphabetical order, but they are all neatly lined up and on a shelf instead of on my floor.

w00t. Simple things make me happy.

If life gives you lemons - trade them for apples

Cuz who likes lemons?? Cept maybe for that weird/cute kid Solomon I was IP with over the summer. He would seriously order lemon as a condiment with his meal and then eat it like an orange. Grossssss. But he was cute. And definitely made me laugh. But thats besides the point.

Anyways, yeah. This is the conversation I've been having with Andrew, my brother, via email. Well, part of it. I am kind of a compulsive every email has to either be in a saved folder or put in the trash so my inbox is empty. Lol. So some of the earlier emails are lost somewhere in cyberspace. I seriously wonder sometimes about his (and my) sanity.

Anyways, I let him borrow my TU ID and password for a little bit so he could download a student copy of a mathmatical program he needs for one of his advanced classes. He is in a science and mathmatics magnet school, so basically, he's already smarter than me.

I have no idea why I am blogging about this. Maybe after so many years of thinking my siblings were the biggest-royal-pains-in-the-you-know-where, and then...well deciding that maybe, somehow they aren't; maybe I started to appreciate the little quirky things about them that drove me crazy.

And Andrew if you read this, I have three words...no wait four words for you...
Hard working; Jack the Ripper.

Like I said. I have five words for you. =p

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: smartypants@mathgenius.net
[Add to Address Book]
To: myname@somewhereovertherainbow.net
Subject: Warning!!! This e-mail may contain a virus! Approach with caution!
Date: Monday, October 16, 2006 4:29:31 PM [View Source]

I finally finished my project; so, here it is. The best news of all is that I
don't have to use Mathematica for at least another year!

(Attachments successfully scanned for viruses.)
Attachment 1: *******.gif (image/gif)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: megan@myemailhost.net
[Add to Address Book]
To: wouldntyouliketoknow@xyz.net
Subject: Je suis une mouche sur la mur
Date: Monday, October 16, 2006 9:51:31 PM [View Source]

Haha, if that email was from anyone except you, I would have deleted it right away. But thats pretty cool. Better than I could do. Is there supposed to be a graph? When is it due? How long did it take you? Where were you on the fifth november of 1190?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mybrother@hisemail.net
[Add to Address Book]
To: imsuchadork@abc.net
Subject: Methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphen-
Date: Tuesday, October 17, 2006 5:04:32 PM [View Source]

ylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyllysylgluta-
mylglysylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanylyalylthre-
onylleucylglcycylaspartylprolylglicylisoleucyglutamylgluta-
minlserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleu-
cylglutamylalanylglyclyalanylaspartylalanylleucyglutamylle-
ucylgluycylisoleucylproluylphenylalanyserylaspartyprolylleu-
celalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisolleucyglutaminylaspa-
raginylalanythreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanylalanylal-
anylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinylphen-
ylalanylglglutamylmethionylleucyalanylleucylisoleucylarginyl-
glutaminyllysylhistidylprolyuthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleuc-
ylglycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasbaraginylleucyl-
valylphenylalanylsparaginyyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglut-
amylphenylalanylyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyll-
ysylvalylglycylvalylspartylserylvalylleucylvallalanylaspart-
ylvalylprolylvalvlglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylpheny-
lalalrginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasp-
araginylvalylalalprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcystei-
nylprolyprolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartyspartyleucylle-
ucylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyroslglycylargin-
ylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginlalanyl-
glycylvalylthreonylglycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginyla-
nylalanylleucylprolylleucylaspaaginylhistidylleucylvalylalan-
yllysylleucyllysylglutamyltyrosylasparagimylalanylalanypro-
lylprolylleucylglutaminylglycylphenlalanylglycylisoleyucyls-
erylalanylprolylaspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisol-
eucylalspartylalanylglycylalanylalanylglycylalanylasoleucylse-
rylglycylserylalanylisoleucylbalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylgluta-
mylglutaminylhistidylasparaginylisoleucylglutamylpronylglu-0
tamyllysylmethionylluecylalanylalanyoeucyllysylvalylpheny-
lalanylvalylglutamilylprolylmethionyllysylalanylalanylthreo-
nylarginylserine.

haha... all of that would have been my subject, but thats all that would fit-
it consists of somwhere about 1927 letters or something like that

yeah, i figured that subject was suitable; in fact, after i sent it, i thought
you might have deleted it. that's not good because i just think i failed my
project, unless i sent my graph's other link, well it was supposed to be
this(which is way cooler), and on the fifth november of 1190, i was ride up the
pyramids of giza backwards in a tutu while selling a electron accelerator to Abu
Bakr.

(Attachments successfully scanned for viruses.)
Attachment 1: *****.gif (image/gif)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: megaleg@lovesjesus.net
[Add to Address Book]
To: num_num@washisoldnickname.net
Subject: 2,6-dimethylanaline + alpha-choloroacetyl chloride + acetic acid --> alpha-cloro-dimethylacetanalide
Date: Tuesday, October 17, 2006 11:29:13 PM [View Source]

What is that?? A lipid? A protein? Where did you find that word, lol?

But anyways...I knew it! Now I can FINALLY prove that it was me who did it in the conservatory with the rope. =)

(Attachments successfully scanned for viruses.)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S. Can you tell I was bored? Pay a little closer attention to the email addresses. I wasn't sure if he wanted his email all over the internet so I decided to 'fix' it.

P.S.S. Please don't call the men in the white coats on us...they weren't very nice last time. And the room wasn't bouncy like I thought, it was smelly. *nods*

Je suis un petit étranger bleu

Yep. You guessed it. More lyrics. Am I hopeless or what? I seriously don't know how I lived without music before. I didn't really start listening to music besides what my parents listened to until high school.

Oh. And I was killed by my assasinator. =( Oh well. I hadn't really done anything to get the guy I was supposed to.

"Broken Heart" - Falling Up
In this moment synchronized inside
Words that paint the legacy of life
A different picture will unfold
A healing finds it's way through
Sifted times I take another breathe,
With an ambience of nothing left
So heal my heart, rain down Your Love, these waters bring me back to life

Chorus:
Father, Healer
Deliver me from broken love
Stay here, closer
Let me hear Your voice of Love

There's a Healing calling from the wind
There's a Healer waiting to begin
In timeless places, traced and faceless will I learn to let go
Take me to the heights where Love controls,
Far away from home but feels so close
This empty heart of mine will fall inside and bring me back to life

Chorus

You can hold
You can mend
You can heal
You can break, I hold cause something etched this way

Chorus

Savior, Redeemer
Bring me to this place of peace
Jesus, guard it,
My broken heart is so in need

I am a broken vessel. My heart is weak and small and shattered and the love I can offer is inconsistent and wavering and insufficient. It is nothing compared to God's.

NG tubes really suck

Yeah, I might end up deleting this pretty soon, it is speaking of things too personal. But if you read/watch this could you please just say something even if its just 'hey that was good info' or 'ok, yeah delete this i dont want to see this stuff' Because when I post stuff like this and I see people are visiting my site but nobody says a word, I start thinking that they are just looking at this and thinking 'Wow what a weirdo/freak. Note to self...never speak to this person again...run away now.'



This is not a diet.
This is not a good way to drop a few pounds before prom or your vacation or your big date.
This is not a lifestyle.
This is not fun.
This is not glamourous.
This is not my way of sticking it to The Man.
This is not a game. It will screw with your life.
This is not something that can be given up easily.
This is not a way to boost your popularity.
This is not a way to make your peers envy you.
This does not make you strong.
This does not make you special.
This won't give you control.
This won't make you beautiful.
This does not go away when you hit XX pounds.
This does not bring you happiness.
This does not bring you positive attention.
This does not fullfill your every dream.
This does not define you.
This isn't fun when you can't walk straight.
This is not fun when you realize you've lost control and can't find yourself anymore.
This is not fun when your bruised from head to toe from falling over every day, day after day.
This is not a sickness that can be meassured in amounts of pounds lost, percentages underweight, or BMI's, but it's in the mind.
This is not cool.
This is not something you choose.
This is not something to be proud of .
This is not something you learn to do.
This is not "just a phase".
This is not about a cookie.
This is not even about 10 cookies.
This is not a pretty font or a website.
This is not a "new" thing.
This is not who I am.
This is not a trend.
This is not something I just "got", like a virus.
This is not the answer.
This is not funny.
This is not something you can control.
This isn't who you want to be.
This isn't fun when you're preoccupied with numbers.
This won't make you look like a model.
This will not make you love yourself.
This is not ever under your control.
This is not a game.
This is not satisfying.
This is not something I wake up and just decide to become.
This did not come out of nowhere.
This is not socially acceptable.
This isn't normal.
This is not some "quick fix", it'll stay with you forever.
This is not some club.
This isn't something you aspire to be.
This is not easy.
This will not make you feel good about yourself.
This is not something you do for someone else.
This is not something you ask for tips to learn.
This is not fair.
This is not a way to live, it's a way to die.

As far as control; When you can eat what you like whenever you like, thats being in control. When you can consciously choose between a salad and cheeseburger without having to do the math in your head of how many miles you'd have to run to burn off each --Then you have control.

But this IS something that there is an end to...if you choose.

Edit:
Yeah, just wanted to put reasoning behind this post. It's not something I like talking about, especially because I don't have all the anwers and I don't have everything figured out and heck I don't talk about it because I have gotten my share of weirded-out looks and 'why don't you just eat a cheeseburger' comments. It's not something I take lightly (you should see me freak out on my friends who start having bad eating habits. not a pretty sight). It is something that was really real to me for a long time. There was a time when I had so much in common with those girls. I still have some things in common. Just watching that stuff bring up a lot of thoughts and feelings.

I have seen others go through this and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have some people close to me that I am terrified are going to die because of this. Its so easy to think that losing a few pounds or doing whatever to look better, or WHATEVER, is going to make things better. It doesn't. If I can help one person not go through this, then I will say this over and over for as long as it takes.

People see this stuff on the news and think 'wow I want to look like this.' or 'i'll be more sucessful or people will respect me if I look this way.' It's not true. I mean, who do you admire most in life? Why? Is it because of what they weigh or what they look like? No, it's because of other things like their kindness, honesty, courage, morality, etc.

And this disease doesn't happen overnight. And it can't be fixed overnight. In fact...it can't be "fixed." It's like you wake up one morning and you don't know how things will ever be normal again, whatever normal is.

Homework is fun

If you call making your brain hurt fun.

...

Ok, so have you ever thought about what or where you would max out your credit card or like if you won a contest, what you would love to win? Of course you have. I was thinking (I know, dangerous, right?) and I realized that what I would want is...a lifetime supply of Light N Fit yogurt. No...seriously. Yes, I am insane, we have established that, right? I'm not joking though. Like you know how they offer like a lifetime supply of...ummm...well I dont know, but DO I know they offer a lifetime supply of something if you are the super lucky winner of a contest.

I am obsessed with this stuff! It's amazing, and I eat like one or two a day. And every time I have to go to the grocery store, I always have to buy like 8 or 10 yogurts. I should buy the big containers, but thats no fun because I don't get all the good flavors.

Ok, ok, yeah, I guess I have no life, considering that the topic of this blog is yogurt.

If I were a peanut butter and jelly sandwich...

So I was walking to work and well I was getting kind of into a song so I was mouthing the words and stuff. I got a lot of wicked awesome "Wow, she's crazy! What locked ward did she escape from?" looks (...if only they knew...). So yeah, good times, good times.

And then I found 5 bucks :-) Lol, j/k. That wasn't even a bad story. I hope.

Sanctus Real - "Everything About You"
Be my light in the darkened room
I'm on my face and I'm calling you
I can't fathom all you've done for me
Everytime it finds me on my knees
Like sunlight in the winter cold

Everything about you, it takes my breath
Away...Hallelujah
I tried this waltz without you and
I watched my great mistake...Hallelujah

Questions fade when you invade
You chase all my fears away
With your love in my atmosphere
All confusion disappears

And nothing but your truth remains

Questions fade, you remain
You are color on a page of white, bright
Like eyes beneath black lights
Like a glowing city on the plains, you call
My name

Hallelujah

Oh and don't ask how the title relates to this. Cuz heck if I know. :-)

I think I've been associating with my brother too much. He's been emailing me and his subject lines are the most random things ever. But its really good, cuz it gives me excuse to say really weird things too...or in other words be a miss-know-it-all, lol. He was telling me the funniest word he knew (absquatulate), so I let him know the weirdest I knew (lithium-tri-tert-butoxyaluminum hydride) and what it did. Or also, his last subject line was in French (hes a freshman in HS) so I started spouting off the answer to his question in French (I've taken 5 years and just a little more fluent than him).

Fall Retreat 06

Well I got back on Sunday from a retreat with Cru to Summit Lake for Fall Retreat. It was amazing. It just really emphasized that my view of God will never been big enough because how can you describe something infinte with finite words? I need to remember this stuff; its just so mind-blowing. The God who holds all the water (3.6 TRILLION gallons) in his hand and traces the galaxy with his palm. And he cares for me. How cool is that? I'm just speechless.

Plus we serenaded the guys with "I Want It That Way." Theres a picture, but I look really bad in it, so I won't put it up. But I will put up the youtube for their video, I realized I never had. Cracks me up every time.



And of course, I have to post some lyrics. Thats what having your Ipod playing on shuffle with 964 songs will do to you when you're walking like 2 hours a day and need something to listen to. Lots and lots of cool songs. w00t.


"Simply" - Pillar
I've made it so hard on myself, turning my back on how You felt
Seeing a lie that led me on, leaving a love that did no wrong
That's what it took for me to say

That You simply love
Despite all the stupid things I've done
It's hard to remember
That You simply love
Even though I know not what I've done
It's hard to remember
That You simply love

I've tried to do all this on my own
Not thinking once of what You've shown
All that I've done has blinded me
To everything that You have for me
I want You to know that I finally see

I don't know why I can't understand
I don't know why I can't comprehend

Asassins

YAY. I get to kill people :-D Lol. Well, not really, but it's still fun.

Our apartment complex is having a game called Assassins, where 40 people signed up to play. We all had our pictures taken and our picture was given to someone else. Whoever got your pic was supposed to 'kill' you (by hitting with a clean sock rolled into a ball). And then you get their target. So I have my first victim. Mwahahaha.

And is it wrong that I'm using the fact that at my job I can look up peoples schedules to help me figure out how to get them? You can't kill them when they're in class, but as soon as they walk out they're fair target. Eh. Well it hasn't helped me yet. But I've been too busy to do any serious plotting.

So I'm off now... (insert james bond music)

Something like laughter

Haha, yeah I know that it seems like the only thing I use this thing for is to post lyrics of different songs. Deal with it.

In my defense, with me living in TR this year, I've been spending between 1 and 3 hours a day just walking to class and places. So I've been listening to my Ipod a lot. Lol.

Anyways its a good thing that I've been walking so much cuz I'm sure I would have gained 50 pounds by now if I wasnt with the way I've been eating. Blahh.

Anyways, if you are into Ska at all, you should listen to this group, they are really awesome. And they have a lot of funny songs too...one I particuarly enjoy is one called "Wizard Needs Food...Badly" :-)

"Something Like Laughter" - Five Iron Frenzy
People say they know a girl
Who's lost her way, she's always angry
No one bothers to ask her
What she hears or what she hopes for
The air is cold, she lives alone
And tires of being her only provider
She can't fathom grace tonight
No not tonight, it's not an option

Searching for more than mere tastes of living water
Tired eyes tend to wander, seek the light
Create in her a sense of awe that sees Your beauty
Let Your splendor flash with blinding light

Cities slowly suffocate
What once was bright is now moth-eaten
As young girls filter thoughts that once were
Fresh now worn and beaten
Clutching pity like a prize
To her side her fingers grow weary
He cares so much for sparrows
Won't He toss something out my way?

Searching for more than mere lies disguised as dogma
Tired eyes tend to wander, seek the light
Create in her a sense of awe that sees Your beauty
Let Your splendor flash with blinding light
Standing tall, all the aspen trees drink water
As the rain falls down like laughter from the sky