The Little Things

As much as my job drives me crazy, it is the little things that really make working at CVS worthwhile. It seems like as soon as I have a chance to take a sip of my [now cold] coffee, a new influx of customers come in or there is some crisis to attend to. Then there are the angry and impatient customers that can really test my patience. I actually had a dream last night where I lost it and told off a customer at drive-thru lol. And then there is my perfectionism that always seems to whisper that if I make a mistake I will be fired.

But, like I said, it is the little things that really make everything worthwhile.

Yesterday, the lead tech thanked me for all my help and told me I was doing a really good job and learning pretty quickly. It really meant a lot to me. I requested not to work on Sundays because I usually am helping out with the youth at church and in the evening I have an APO meeting. So working yesterday afternoon meant I had to go straight from church to work (I usually go home to see my family and hang out for a little bit) and I had to miss initiation of the new pledges.

Some other things that make work worth it:
-When it is quiet and I get to just count pills for an extended period of time (I know, I am such a dork...I love counting pills).
-Learning the generic names for brand name drugs and vice-versa (I know...total nerd!)
-Being able to learn a new skill that makes me a more competent technician.
-When someone thanks me for helping after my shift is over.
-Having the opportunity to make small-talk and relate to customers
-On Valentines day, this really sweet couple who had been married for 54 years came in and I could just tell they were still in love.
-One time, I was talking to this cute but kind of socially awkward kid and was relating to him about his medication and he bought a Hershey's bar and told me to share it with everyone in the pharmacy because we were working hard and looked tired.
-Just talking to the other technicians and pharmacists about their lives.

I should be studying; therefore I have done everything except study

Ok, it's not quite that bad, but I have taken out the trash and recycling (which required three trips btw because either Neil or I tend to be the only ones who will do it), cleaned the counters and mopped the floors in my apartment.

Then I spent 15 minutes rewriting my schedule/drawing ducks on my dry-erase board. =]

In my defense however, I have gotten a lot of studying for A&P done. I think I have gone over all the different hormones so many times that I will dream about them (that is if I get any sleep tonight). Which is fine with me; after working all weekend I have been dreaming about filling scripts. I really wonder if that's a sign of something lol.

Anyways you can tell I am definitely not an artist. And I decided that I could use a little encouragement this week, hence the bible verse. If I can keep the motivation up, I would like to find a new one to write every week.

I already have Psalm 139:13-14 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are WONDERFUL, I know that full well." [emphasis mine] written on a notecard and pinned to my wall; but something new to focus on each week I think would be pretty helpful.

Why your pharmacist hates you so much...

So I decided to re-post this...it is so true...lol

Why your Pharmacist hates you so much....
Sunday, August 06, 2006

WARNING: This post may be painful for those in the profession to read.

You come to the counter. I am on the phone with a drunk dude who wants
the phone number to the grocery store next door. After I instruct him
on the virtues of 411, you tell me your doctor was to phone in your
prescription to me. Your doctor hasn't, and you're unwilling to wait
until he does. Being in a generous mood, I call your doctors office
and am put on hold for 5 minutes, then informed that your prescription
was phoned in to my competitor on the other side of town. Phoning the
competitor, I am immediately put on hold for 5 minutes before speaking
to a clerk, who puts me back on hold to wait for the pharmacist. Your
prescription is then transferred to me, and now I have to get the 2
phone calls that have been put on hold while this was being done. Now
I return to the counter to ask if we've ever filled prescriptions for
you before. For some reason, you think that "for you" means "for your
cousin" and you answer my question with a "yes", whereupon I go the
computer and see you are not on file.

The phone rings.

You have left to do something very important, such as browse through
the monster truck magazines, and do not hear the three PA
announcements requesting that you return to the pharmacy. You return
eventually, expecting to pick up the finished prescription.....

The phone rings.

......only to find out that I need to ask your address, phone number,
date of birth, if you have any allergies and insurance coverage. You
tell me you're allergic to codeine. Since the prescription is for
Vicodin I ask you what exactly codeine did to you when you took it.
You say it made your stomach hurt and I roll my eyes and write down
"no known allergies" You tell me......

The phone rings.

.....you have insurance and spend the next 5 minutes looking for your
card. You give up and expect me to be able to file your claim anyway.
I call my competitor and am immediately put on hold. Upon reaching a
human, I ask them what insurance they have on file for you. I get the
information and file your claim, which is rejected because you changed
jobs 6 months ago. An asshole barges his way to the counter to ask
where the bread is.

The phone rings.

I inform you that the insurance the other pharmacy has on file for you
isn't working. You produce a card in under 10 seconds that you seemed
to be unable to find before. What you were really doing was hoping
your old insurance would still work because it had a lower copay. Your
new card prominently displays the logo of Nebraska Blue Cross, and
although Nebraska Blue cross does in fact handle millions of
prescription claims every day, for the group you belong to, the claim
should go to a company called Caremark, whose logo is nowhere on the
card.

The phone rings.

A lady comes to the counter wanting to know why the cherry flavored
antacid works better than the lemon cream flavored antacid. What
probably happened is that she had a milder case of heartburn when she
took the cherry flavored brand, as they both use the exact same
ingredient in the same strength. She will not be satisfied though
until I confirm her belief that the cherry flavored brand is the
superior product. I file your claim with Caremark, who rejects it
because you had a 30 day supply of Vicodin filled 15 days ago at
another pharmacy. You swear to me on your mother's'....

The phone rings.

.......life that you did not have a Vicodin prescription filled
recently. I call Caremark and am immediately placed on hold. The most
beautiful woman on the planet walks buy and notices not a thing. She
has never talked to a pharmacist and never will. Upon reaching a human
at Caremark, I am informed that the Vicodin prescription was indeed
filled at another of my competitors. When I tell you this, you say you
got hydrocodone there, not Vicodin. Another little part of me dies.

The phone rings.

It turns out that a few days after your doctor wrote your last
prescription, he told you to take it more frequently, meaning that
what Caremark thought was a 30-day supply is indeed a 15 day supply
with the new instructions. I call your doctor's office to confirm this
and am immediately placed on hold. I call Caremark to get an override
and am immediately placed on hold. My laser printer has a paper jam.
It's time for my tech to go to lunch. Caremark issues the override and
your claim goes though. Your insurance saves you 85 cents off the
regular price of the prescription.

The phone rings.

At the cash register you sign....

The phone rings.

......the acknowledgement that you received a copy of my HIPPA policy
and that I offered the required OBRA counseling for new prescriptions.
You remark that you're glad that your last pharmacist told you you
shouldn't take over the counter Tylenol along with the Vicodin, and
that the acetaminophen you're taking instead seems to be working
pretty well. I break the news to you that Tylenol is simply a brand
name for acetaminophen and you don't believe me. You fumble around for
2 minutes looking for your checkbook and spend another 2 minutes
making out a check for four dollars and sixty seven cents. You ask why
the tablets look different than those you got at the other pharmacy. I
explain that they are from a different manufacturer. Tomorrow you'll
be back to tell me they don't work as well.

Now imagine this wasn't you at all, but the person who dropped off
their prescription three people ahead of you, and you'll start to have
an idea why.....your prescription takes so damn long to fill.

http://mariuscorner.blogspot.com/2006/09/pharmacists-blues.html

Revenge of the Police Blotters

Ok, once again, I stole these from Benjamin, but seriously, some of the things that make the police report in our town are crazy lol.

4/11/08 [Aberdeen, MD]: A caller told police Tuesday a Comcast truck with a ladder was parked in the 100 block of Hamilton Place and an employee walked into the ladder.
4/11/08 [Aberdeen, MD]: A woman in the 1000 block of Beards Hill Road told police April 3 she needed an officer to push the door open for her because she was stuck between the two doors.

5/16/08 [Aberdeen, MD]: A woman in the 600 block of Holly Circle told police Tuesday a man and a woman were in a bedroom.
-->Well thank you Big Brother, whoever you are...

5/23/08 [Aberdeen, MD]: A woman in the 600 block of South Philadelphia Boulevard told police Wednesday a group of people were loitering around the door and one man's pants were hanging very low.
5/23/08 [Aberdeen, MD]: A caller in the 600 block of South Philadelphia Boulevard told police Wednesday a person parked next to her was playing loud music and wearing pants that were hanging down.
-->Now I don't know if there is a law regulating how high your pants ought to be - I tend to think not - but there deserves to be one. Especially if you get called in to the police twice in the same day!

5/23/08 [Aberdeen, MD]: An officer from Havre de Grace called Friday and said he hit an owl with his vehicle and the head lights were broken. He tried calling the bird rescue but the woman had taken a sedative and couldn't come out; he called Harford Emergency vet but they couldn't do anything because they aren't licensed to care for wildlife; he called state police for a number for the Natural Resources but got a voicemail but no one responded, according to police reports. He also called Harford County to get a report for the gamage.
-->Ok so whats up with the random sedative thrown in there?

6/13/08 [Aberdeen, MD]: Cheryl Ann Cregar, 55, of the 700 block of the Beards Hill Road, was charged June 5 with theft scheme more than $500, obtaining the property of a vulnerable adult older than 50, abusing a vulnerable adult who is a family member, trespassing, forgery, issuing a false document, theft less than $500, fraud and numerous credit card offenses.
-->Wow! If you were going to rack up so many charges, couldn't you at least have thrown one or two more petty things in there?!

6/13/08 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A patient was flown to aHavre de Grace police report:
-->Hmm...Methinks there was a typo here...

6/13/08 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller on Linden Lane told police Wednesday there was an odor of gas coming from the bathroom.
-->As I see it, don't complain. Better in there than out in front of you.

6/27/08 [Aberdeen, MD]: A man living in Country Village Apartments on Idlewild Road notified the police Wednesday that juveniles were throwing fireworks at ducks.
-->Awww...poor duckies!!

7/4/08 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A man told police Monday a three-foot iguana on a picnic table wasn't aggressive.
-->I don't know how to respond to this...

10/5/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A man in the 300 block of St. John Street told police last Friday his neighbor was sending electronic microwaves through his apartment causing him pain.
--> Someone sure has a good imagination.

12/21/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A caller told police last Friday a couple, ages 16 and 17, was having sex on the property of St. Patrick Church. They were found and told to leave.
--> I expect a couple, ages 16 and 17, was asked to please return to the Catholic church on Saturday, but not to have sex.

12/21/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A woman told police around 8 p.m. Wednesday a child had his head on the table at MacGregor's and she wanted the police to tell the child's mother to take him home or he was going to be exhausted at school tomorrow. The woman was suspected of being drunk, according to the police report.
--> Mind you, I'm all for guarding kids' education, but when she brings the police in to act as a parent cut her off!

3/14/08 [Aberdeen, MD]: A caller in the Aberdeen Shopping Plaza told police a man was throwing bread to seagulls and making a mess.

3/14/08 [Aberdeen, MD]: A woman in the 100 block of West Air Avenue observed a man in a dark hooded sweatshirt walked into a church through the front doors.
--> Hmm...that would be a problem. Some churches have special pews which you can't sit in, other churches have special front doors that you aren't supposed to walk through?

8/24/07 [Havre de Grace, MD]: A man in the 200 block of Pennington Avenue told police Thursday his son was locked in handcuffs and they couldn't find the key.
--> Um, I wouldn't know anyone who has done that before...

Valentine's Day

Yeah, I know it's not Valentine's Day yet, but I saw this picture and it made me laugh. Unfortunately, Neil and I won't be doing anything exciting on Saturday...I have to work from 12:30-9 and then I have to work again on Sunday. So most likely we will go to the Diner. Which is perfectly fine with me, I don't really want or expect anything really elaborate. I told Neil that I felt like Valentine's day was just some arbitrary day that someone decided to be more romantic than all the other ones...he asked if I could put that in writing LOL (Insert dramatic roll of eyes).

Also, our two-year anniversary is at the end next month, so it seems kind of pointless to make a big deal out of this holiday when something much more significant (IMHO) is coming up a little more than a month later.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Things suck right now.

I think that pretty much sums it up. It might come as a surprise to most that life hasn't exactly been peachy-keen; I have been feeling rather reluctant to admit to the fact that I am struggling. Maybe because admitting it means that it is real. Maybe I'm sick of letting people down. Maybe because I so desperately want to be 'normal' (whatever that is), to just be happy.

I could spend hours talking about how much better my life is and how much I have going for me right now. I have an AMAZING boyfriend who I know isn't going to leave me or give up on me like other people have when things got bad. I finally have the job that I really want, something that is immediately relevant to my future career plans. I have wonderful friends and family who care about me so much. But somehow, it doesn't seem to matter.

I tried doing IOP for 2 weeks. And I was for all intents and purposes kicked out because my symptoms were too severe to start off with and weren't getting any better, so they wanted me to do PHP. I declined and was discharged AMA. I refused to put my life on hold again to try a program that I didn't have the motivation for. Right now I am feeling completely and totally unwilling to gain weight, to get to my 'goal weight'.

I wanted to believe that the structure of classes and of work would compel me to get my act together and just start eating. I didn't want to tell people again that I screwed up and needed more help. I was scared that it would lead to me losing the job that I worked so hard to get and to admit to my co-workers that I do have limitations (and in my mind's eye, admitting that I am a complete failure).

Um yeah...not quite.

I haven't been to class in two days. Not because I am sick, but because I am tired, depressed and avoilitional. Unfortunately, skipping class and trying to hide under covers doesn't really help matters much. I tell myself that it's only one class, I can get the notes and catch up. But somehow it brings back memories of me deciding that I could learn Organic Chemistry by myself and I didn't really need to go to lecture. Not my brightest or most rational decision.

So I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.

My PTSDish sx have been sucking as well as the ED sx. Maybe because I am taking a class entitled 'Trauma Through the Lifespan' =P. And I know to some people it might sound like I am trying to set myself up, but it wasn't intended that way. In my own distorted and weird mind, I was hoping that by learning how to help others who have been through traumatic life events, I could somehow learn how to heal myself. I didn't even think of the possibility that I would be completely and totally flooded by flashbacks and emotions that I have been so carefully trying to hide and pretend don't exist. Thoughts and feelings that I don't know how to deal with in a constructive manner.

So attempting to do the required assignments and staying focused during class has led to massive amounts of dissociation and unhealthy coping mechanisms. But I missed the add/drop date, so I can't replace the class with another one, and withdrawing from the class would mean that I would no longer be a full-time student, which would probably affect my living situation as well as my financial aid.

Anyways, my therapist is still agreeing to see me on an outpatient level. She told me that there was a time and place for ultimatums and this was not one of those times (relating to whether or not I chose to accept a higher level of care). We have been talking a lot about the fact that I have been minimizing abusive situations I was in when I was younger. Along with more recent traumatic events that I prefer not to verbalize.

I know that I can't physically or emotionally continue on this path for much longer. But I just don't know what to do right now. My main fear as I had mentioned earlier is losing my job. And I have heard plenty of times that it is illegal for them to fire me based on a mental illness, but I am sure CVS could find some other reason why I am not useful to them anymore.